kcon ritual
five scenes:
1. the blessings of gulik
st mae: hail eris! hell yes!
jfb: all ceremony begins with the blessing of st gulik.
novice intones:
Gulik is my vector,
I shall not want;
He maketh me put my feet up and take a load off.
He leadeth me to my barstool;
He restoreth my slack.
He leadeth me to the freaks and the weirdos
in Discordia’s name.
Although I walk through the valley
of the shadow of Greyface,
I fear not the Man;
for Gulik is with me;
his appetite and his evolutionary fitness,
they become me.
Surely good times and lulz shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall slip effortlessly through the cracks forever.
2. preparing the space and the people
novice: now gather the circle, blah blah blah
Of all the corners of the pentagon, or pentagram, or pentacle or whatever, we shall first
call sweet. Sweet!
Sweet: walks around the circle, feeding everyone a strawberry
sings:
I needed the shelter of someone’s arms
And there you were
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs
And there you were
With sweet love and devotion
Gently touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
orange: wraps self in an orange shawl and does a little dance in the circle
Intones:
We didn’t write any lines for this part, because nothing rhymes with orange. Sorry.
pungent: gives everyone a whiff of a smelling salt
prickle: touches everyone’s skin with something prickly
Upon returning to her corner, she recites:
prickle prickle bo bickle
banana fanna fo fickle
fee fi mo mickle
prickle!
boom: enters the center of the circle and sets off a noisemaker (maybe a champagne popper)
yells:
BOOM!
novice: and now as the circle is closed, let us close our society, our band of murderers who
will be bloodied tonight. Sergeant at arms, step forth.
Sgt administers oath in drill sergeant format, with a careful study of the initiation scene
in animal house
Attention! You are now inducted into the Underground Order of Assassins of Mu! Your loyalty will now be examined.
Are ye a human being and not a cabbage or something?
That’s too bad. Do ye wish to better thyself?
How stupid. Are ye willing to become philosophically illuminized?
Very funny. Will ye dedicate yeself to the holey Erisian movement?
Then swear ye the following after me:
I, state your name,
pledge allegiance to the Assassins of Mu
for whatever that might be worth
and to the disorder for which we stand
one bunch of freaks if I’ve ever seen one
instupicuous
with dancing and light refreshments for all.
Amen.
People are anointed with the beverage of their choice.
3. Laughter circle?
No intro- just go right into it. Some people will remember it, others will pick it up quick enough.
4. the death of discordianism
5. entry into the underworld
Dancing and refreshments.
